Letting Go

I've had writer's block for the past while. There's been so much battling for my attention, that it's been hard to clear my thoughts, much less to write them with a definitive purpose. Forgive me. It's time to spill my thoughts again.

One of the hardest things to do in life is to let go. No matter how many reasons you have to, or how your friends back you up (or the much worse alternative of making the change alone). No matter how strongly God confirms a decision, it can hurt, and badly.

Not to mention that, once you have let go, you've got to make sure that you don't pick it back up. Sometimes it's OK to ease back in once circumstances have changed, with specific situations, but if you aren't absolutely sure that they have, then it can be even harder to drop it the second time around. It's a deadly circle.

For instance...

The insecure security of keeping to yourself, and you finally let go, open up. It's frightening to trust someone if you've locked love out of your heart.What if they aren't who they seem? What if they drop you cold? Maybe you don't mean so much to them... maybe they don't really care. The pain will stick like gorilla duct tape if it ends badly. It doesn't even have to be romantic; a girl or guy friend can hurt you as badly, sometimes worse, than a romantic interest. You back away, maybe even when they've begun to prove themselves, and there it goes. It's too much.

Maybe, in another light, a friendship takes a wrong turn, and you've got to cut it off. I've learned multiple times how painful that can be, even if it's the best thing for the both of you. You've become accustomed to this person's companionship. Perhaps someone of the opposite sex and you can talk together, understand each other, laugh like crazy, and talk about God. You're too young to think of it being more, yet you become emotionally involved all the same. You acknowledge to one another your interest, and you can't go back to a simple friendship. You must let go, or it'll be distracting and damaging, riddled with temptation and complication. Now you've lost your best friend. Bring on the twisting knives, the confusion, and the wish that you could fix it. More sticky pain, clinging to your life.

So, someone hurt you. Whether intentionally or not, they affected you greatly, and you're left to sort through it all. So much bitterness and pain has the chance to take a hold of you, so many doubts and sorrows. You can make decisions here that will effect you the rest of your life. Will you amend the situation to the best of your abilities, and let go of what you can't control? Or will you let it control you... fester inside of you? Will you trust God to bring good out of every situation, no matter how dark and glowering it may seem?

Love, you've got to. It's incredibly important. If you want to live, really live, without resentment, bitterness, and anger (note that these can be toward someone else, OR toward yourself), you've got to let go, and let God. Dearest,

"You can run away to fields of gray,
or stay and see who you were meant to be."

That's a bit of poetry that I came up with. I've tried to live by it for a while now, and I'm slowly getting there. God's helping me all along this way. It's a tricky road, a lane with potholes and ruts galore. But guess what? He'll dance you through it. A crack in the cement is nothing - if He sweeps you off your feet and spins you over it. Believe me, His footing's sure, trustworthy. For the guys, He'll run it with you like an army track, jumping and rolling right there with you. He's got your back, and His gun's loaded. There ain't nothin' that He can't get'cha out of, but you gotta let Him. Ask Him. Let go of your control.

It's worth it. I've been there - I know. I live in more freedom than I did two years ago. And it's all because of His work. Think about it, will you?

Let go, love. With God, all things are possible.